


High Hopes Low Graded Cooking Videos

by Goldstone_Wolf



Series: High Hopes Low (Blank) [35]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), High Hopes Low Rolls (Web Series)
Genre: Cooking Videos, Definitely an AU, Food mentions, M/M, Quarantine, References to Merlin, References to Voltron: Legendary Defender, References to other TV shows, established paddark, just some fun, new form of the coffeeshop au, oh look it's fluff again, references to that one movie with the cooking rat that i cannot spell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:07:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25345177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goldstone_Wolf/pseuds/Goldstone_Wolf
Summary: Malark is scrolling through his YouTube recommendations when he finds a very…interesting video. With a particular wood elf…Unfortunately for him (or maybe fortunately), his headphones are in the kitchen with his boyfriend.
Relationships: Malark Dundragon/Paddock "Paddy" Whitlaw
Series: High Hopes Low (Blank) [35]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1692196
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	High Hopes Low Graded Cooking Videos

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to one of the Discord servers that I’m a part of for helping me with the idea (and reassuring me that I’m not swarming the Ao3 tag, hah). Anyways, this was also inspired by a youtuber that I watch who had a French cooking video, so that’s where the original otp idea came from cause I was like “hey, what if this happened?”  
> And so this is what you ended up with.  
> Enjoy!

So far, quarantine had been pretty…interesting, to say the least, for Malark and Paddy.

It had started out pretty chaotic, mostly because they were trying to figure out what to do while the whole world seemed to be crashing down around them. But that was a story for another time. For now, they seemed to have settled into their own rhythm, both as housemates and…a little bit more than that (which Malark was _still_ getting used to, even if he didn’t show it nearly as much as Paddy sometimes did). They switched off who did the cooking most nights, and then they would order in food every so often to switch things up.

That night, it was Paddy’s turn to make dinner. They had already loaded up the last season of _Voltron_ so they could scream at all the ways that the team had been done dirty. It was what they did—they had done it with shows like _Merlin_ , DC’s _Legends_ , and a multitude of other shows. Many a night had been spent snarking some character’s dumb choices (including but not limited to mocking Uther Pendragon for being an idiot and going back on his words, pointing out that John Constantine should have been able to turn himself and Zari invisible if he was as great as he claimed, and others). Since the TV was already in use and he couldn’t be bothered to get up from the couch to try and distract Paddy, Malark was scrolling through his YouTube recommendeds with the energy of a sleep-deprived sloth. He was draped across their couch like a dramatic goth in a My Chemical Romance t-shirt that belonged to Paddy, black skinny jeans that might have belonged to either of them (neither actually knew anymore), and his usual black mask. He wasn’t wearing his hood—that had been stolen by Paddy because “it needs to be washed sometime, Malark!” He _had_ managed to keep his gloves, though, so that was nice. The pair weren’t his usual leather ones, but they were black and cloth and had skeleton hands on the back of them and they were fingerless to boot.

So as he was scrolling through his recommended feed rather lackadaisically, his eye caught on a thumbnail he had never seen before. He _did,_ however, recognise the occupant of the thumbnail. It was a young Paddy, from sometime before his makeup-wearing circus days (not that Malark would give those days up for anything, his…boyfriend [he was still getting used to calling him that] was a _master_ with magic and makeup). Clothed in a really old Green Day shirt, he had a cute little smile on his face, and he was holding a whisk in one hand and a bowl in the other with an open stance.

_Now what is this?_ Smiling behind the mask, Malark clicked on the video and then paused. His headphones were in the kitchen with his boyfriend. _It can’t be_ that _bad, if it’s still up. Besides, I want to know what the heck is going on with this…who names a video “Pardon My French Cooking Show”?_

After a brief ad that played a little louder than he thought it should have, he settled in for the actual video…and was immediately greeted by a loud and slightly off-key rendition of “La Festin”. In the kitchen, he heard something drop. Rather than go and investigate, he kept watching the video.

It _was_ Paddy, and he was talking in very hesitant French but also looking irresistibly adorable at the same time. _It’s baby Paddy,_ his brain mused, fawning a little more than Malark would admit. _Aw, so cute._ As Paddy started explaining what was in front of him, Malark recognised flour, brown sugar, eggs, and vanilla, as well as some other ingredients. _Aw, is he making cookies?_

“…mini…eh, pépites de chocolat…” Shaking the bag and frowning in a way that scrunched up his nose, Paddy tilted his head to the side and mumbled something before making a motion. There was a brief montage of him washing his hands, and some other wood elves Malark had to guess were Connor and Cara cracking jokes as they passed by. Someone else said something—they were all talking in French—and Malark guessed that it was Paddy’s father speaking, judging from the deeper pitch of voice…and the fact Brianna and Ronan Whitlaw both appeared in the background to chew out the other Whitlaw siblings for something. If he had to guess, it was distracting Paddy, whose cheeks flushed as he went back to work.

“Malark, why are you watching that?” Paddy asked, and Malark looked up to see his boyfriend standing in the kitchen doorway. Pausing, Malark compared the two Paddys that he saw. The one in his house was older, a little more time-worn but handsome all the same, with a few more freckles and scars maybe. They both had similar outfits—heck, current Paddy was wearing a newer version of the shirt in the video, with grey sweatpants and socks.

“Because it’s you?”

“I thought we privated that!” Paddy moved over like he was going to try and grab Malark’s phone, which prompted the other rogue to literally roll off the couch and jump to his feet. “No, Malark! Don’t watch it—it’s embarrassing!”

That led to a chase around the house which ended when Malark jumped on top of the fridge (not for the first time) and settled down comfortably in his perch. Yelping, Paddy tried to climb up the counter.

“Why is this embarrassing, you’re doing fine!”

“I got a B+ on it!”

“Oh, yeah, _that’s_ an embarrassing grade.” Paddy kept trying to climb up. “Seriously, what even happened that would give you that grade?”

Onscreen Paddy let out a yelp and there was a loud _clatter._ Which was when the whole video went to chaos, and Malark’s boyfriend sat down on the floor with a sigh of defeat. “That.” Sighing, he laid back on the kitchen floor and stared up at the ceiling, and Malark tucked his phone back in his hoodie pocket, jumped to the ground, and laid down next to his boyfriend. “I hate you.”

“You’re not the only one, I hate me, too.”

Paddy gasped and stared at him in offence. “You idiot!” Rolling over, he pulled Malark’s mask down (it was a cheap one from Target) and kissed him. “Take that back, self-deprecation isn’t cool in this household.”

“Never.”

“ _Mal_ \-- “

“Paddy.” The wood elf held his gaze, frowning slightly, and they both paused. “Is something burning?”

Jerking upright, Paddy sprinted over to the stove, and Malark rolled out of the way so he wasn’t accidentally kicked in the face. “Oh, no, the noodles!”

“How did you _burn_ ramen noodles?” Paddy turned to him with the saddest face and Malark paused. “Okay, okay, let’s see how we can fix this.”

(The noodles weren’t even burnt, really, just a little overcooked. They spent the rest of the night curled on the couch, eating ramen noodles and yelling about how the team had been done dirty by the producers. Of course, when Malark suggested making chocolate chip cookies after, he promptly got his dryer-fresh hoodie to the face.)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the people who helped me with this, and thanks to you for reading it! Now, I hope you have a wonderful time wherever you are, and I hope you know that you’re loved and appreciated and awesome and amazing and brilliant and if anyone tells you otherwise I will find their house and make ramen noodles without water so their pillows smell forever of burnt ramen. See you in the next fic!  
> Now, into the fray once more!


End file.
